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发布时间:2021-10-09 05:08:01

Author: Dmitry


Drafting: Sun Lu / Proofreading: Cat Stu / Editor: Yakult

起草人:孙璐/校对:Cat Stu /编辑:Yakult

If there are a few destiny nodes in a person's life, marriage must be one of the important ones, so a sense of ritual is essential.


In China, common marriage ceremonies include appointment, return, reception, wedding banquet, wedding travel, etc. A complete wedding takes three to five days and dozens of processes.


Modern Chinese weddings often combine Chinese and Western features


Many traditional processes still remain


(Photo: Mizuki Qingxin photo/Picture Chong Creative)▼


Among them, the most characteristic of the bride is the bride price. The bride price is the beginning of the marriage contract between the two parties in ancient times. The man's family will give the woman a gift in the name of the bridegroom to represent the festive and auspicious wishes.


However, in certain regions and families in modern times, the bride price has become a deformed custom and has become a heavy burden for some rural male families. It is even linked to the sale of marriage and interference in the freedom of marriage.


In India, which is connected with the mountains and rivers of our country, the dowry system is a big mountain that weighs on most families. The difference is that the pressure is on the woman's family.


The Indian dowry system refers to the property that the bride’s family pays to the man’s family in cash or in kind. Including but not limited to cash, jewelry, electrical appliances, furniture, vehicles and other household items.


The popularity of this system in India is very wide. With the exception of the Northeast State, almost all ethnic groups and religions jointly follow the customary custom of giving a betrothal gift from a woman to a man.


This vulgarity only began to be re-examined in modern times


(Artwork Picture: Wikipedia)▼


The amount of the bride price depends on many factors, such as region, caste, education level of the groom, bride’s appearance, etc. Sometimes the negotiation skills of the bride’s family can also affect the amount of the bride price.


World Bank scholar Vijayawada Rawa and Indian economics professor Anil Diola Rika of the University of California, Riverside have done statistics. Nowadays, when an Indian woman is married, her family has to pay The cost of buying a lottery can be as high as US$130,000, which is not a small figure for most Indian families.

世界银行学者维杰亚瓦达·拉瓦(Vijayawada Rawa)和加州大学河滨分校的印度经济学教授阿尼尔·迪奥拉·里卡(Anil Diola Rika)进行了统计。如今,当一名印度妇女结婚时,她的家人必须付钱。购买彩票的费用可能高达130,000美元,对于大多数印度家庭来说,这并不是一个小数目。

India's GDP per capita in 2018 was only $2010


The high lottery purchase fee is completely incompatible with the economic situation of Indian nationals


(Image piece: Radiokafka / Shutterstock) ▼


This high-priced gift actually comes from the traditional concept of gender and marriage in Indian society. For example, some ethnic minorities in China also do not pay the bride price when they get married, and women bring part of the family property to marry, but this property belongs only to the woman herself, so that women have the ability to be independent when they get married.


However, India has traditionally despised women’s personal values ​​extremely and did not believe that women’s husbands and sons at home and cleaning housework are things that create value. If a woman marries the man's house, eats and lives with the man, she must pay a certain price.


Even if these men are impoverished at home...


But because of gender advantage, they have the upper hand in the relationship between husband and wife


(图片:Yavuz Sariyildiz / Shutterstock)▼

(图片:Yavuz Sariyildiz / Shutterstock)▼

Even worse, in the Indian inheritance system, women do not have the right to directly inherit the family property. Although the "Indian Succession Act" passed into effect in 1956 clearly stipulates that daughters have equal rights in family property, this regulation is often a dead letter in practice.


However, this does not mean that Indian parents do not need to save money for their daughters. Parents paying the bridegroom to their daughters are also regarded as a way of property distribution.


Indian girls are educated since childhood, proud of someone to marry


Marrying, being a good wife is the growth goal of many girls


(Photo: Ritesh Ranjan Sett / Shutterstock)▼

(照片:Ritesh Ranjan Sett/Shutterstock)▼

In a family with many girls, their fathers tend to have more pressure. An Indian woman recalled in an interview: When she was young, every time her father was lax and frustrated at work, other relatives would remind him that he had three daughters and he wanted to save money for them money.


Marrying out their daughter early has become the pursuit of many families


It doesn’t matter even if you’re a minor, there’s even more market


(Image piece: De Visu / Shutterstock) ▼

(图片片:德维苏/舒特斯托克) |

Can women save their own money to pay for the bride price? The answer is yes, but there are no conditions. In India, the illiteracy rate of women is 34%, which is higher than that of men, which is 17%. Moreover, due to the crude way of counting illiteracy in India, even those women who are not defined as “illiterate” may not have sufficient literacy skills.


Few women can go to high school or university


Most of them have no chance to be exposed to ideas such as openness, equality, and women's rights


(Photo: Talukdar David / Shutterstock)▼

(照片:Talukdar David / Shutterstock)

In this case, it is difficult for women to find a job that can make ends meet. Although more and more women are joining the labor force, some things are so ingrained in a certain culture and gender politics that it is not easy to get rid of them in a short time.


Having a job also represents a certain degree of financial independence


Economic independence is a prerequisite for the advancement of women's status


(Photo: Talukdar David / Shutterstock)▼

(照片:Talukdar David / Shutterstock)

The main reason why the pressure of the bride's family is so high is that the amount of the bride's gift is directly proportional to the woman's quality of life after marriage.


As mentioned above, women doing housework at home are not considered to create value, so women who do not work are regarded as burdens at home. The man must spend a certain amount of money in order to support this "cumbersome", and this money is best not paid by the man himself.


That is, women have to bring their own money and come to men’s homes to give birth and work


Even facing life-threatening


(photo: vibhasrivastava / shutterstock)


A women’s organization report pointed out: “A woman’s value is only worth the property she brought. If she unfortunately lives longer and (the cost of raising her) exceeds the dowry, then she will be devalued to be worthy Destroyed or discarded items".


This is not alarmist talk. In India, it often happens that because the man's family is dissatisfied with the amount of the bride price paid by the woman's family, criminal behaviors against women, including emotional abuse and physical harm, and even murders occur.


Even the daughter of a major who has a formal job


It’s hard to escape the oppression and harm caused by vices


The daughters of many poor families in India are in dire straits


(Picture: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/)▼


According to data from the National Criminal Records Bureau of India, in 2015, more than 113,000 women were abused by their husbands or relatives in their in-laws, and 7,646 deaths were classified as related to dowry disputes. Every day, about 21 women are killed by their husbands or in-laws because their families cannot meet the dowry requirements.


More intuitively, every hour and quarter of an hour in the past, an Indian woman who could not pay enough gifts was killed.


And if an Indian girl does not get married in time when she grows up


There will be a lot of eyes watching her


Indecency from strangers and acquaintances, rape will ruin their lives


(Anti-rape rally)


(Photo: arindambanerjee/Shutterstock)▼


The reality is so cruel that the entire dowry system has long been banned by the legislature. In 1961, India promulgated the "Prohibition of Dowry/Dowry Act" and added a provision in the Indian Criminal Law. If the wife complains about the dowry harassment, the groom and his family must be automatically arrested.

现实是如此残酷,以至整个立法系统早已禁止了整个嫁妆制度。 1961年,印度颁布了《禁止嫁妆/嫁妆法》,并在印度刑法中增加了一条规定。如果妻子抱怨嫁妆骚扰,则必须自动逮捕新郎及其家人。

However, due to the pressure of social customs, the bill does not really protect those women and their families who are troubled by the bride price. Instead, they were treated as bullets for two families to attack each other after conflicts. Therefore, in 2014, the bill was severely restricted and almost existed in name only.


Women's status is not improved


The promulgation of a bill is nothing but a dead end


(图片:Mukesh Kumar Jwala / Shutterstock)▼

(图片:Mukesh Kumar Jwala / Shutterstock)▼

Moreover, the law has a very narrow definition of beauties. Only those voluntarily proposed by the man’s family are called beauties, while those voluntarily given by the woman’s family are called "gifts" in law, and do not apply to the "Prohibition of Beweal/Dowry Law."


However, the dowry system has a history of hundreds of years in India. Even if the man does not mention it, the woman must give it. This is related to the face and social status of the family. If a father does not give his daughter a gift, he will not only lose his own dignity, but also have a negative impact on the credibility and reputation of the entire family.


Frozen three feet is not a day's cold


(Photo: tara hunt / Wikipedia)▼


In this case, the man usually does not ask for the bride price directly, but chooses to tell the bride’s parents: "You can give your daughter whatever you want."


In this way, the amount of the bride price needs to be weighed by the woman's family, which is one of the reasons why the Indian bride price is increasing.


Because daughters need a heavy bridegroom burden, many Indians believe that not having a son is the greatest tragedy in life. A family with many daughters but no sons will cause widespread sympathy and even ridicule from surrounding relatives and friends.


This strong demand for sons is even greater than traditional China


(Photo: ManjunathBhat / Shutterstock)▼

(照片:ManjunathBhat / Shutterstock)▼

Therefore, the phenomenon of abandonment and killing of baby girls is very common in rural India. Today, India has 37 million more males than females, and it is difficult for many men living at the bottom of society to find suitable brides.


Even if the dowry requirement is reduced, it is difficult to find girls


The evil consequences of East Asia’s "son preference" still have to be tasted by the son


(图片:Dmitry Kalinovsky / shutterstock)▼

(图片:Dmitry Kalinovsky / shutterstock)▼

Even so, the treatment of women has not improved, but has deteriorated in the other direction-in some areas of the country, there will be acts of sharing wives between brothers.


Like China, the sky-high price of the bride price is also related to arranged marriages.


A marriage arranged by parents without emotional foundation is a transaction in itself. As long as the price is right and the conditions of both parties are sufficient to satisfy people, the marriage contract can be concluded.


Arranged marriage is the continuation of traditional customs


The new characteristics of the times brought about by development cannot be reflected in the marriage relationship


(photo: rinku Dua / shutterstock)


Arranged marriages that still exist in contemporary India have laid the foundation for the man’s indiscriminate bidding and the woman’s repayment of money.


With the development of the times in China, arranged marriages have almost disappeared, and at least both parties can make their own choices. The so-called sky-high price gifts have also been criticized more and more, and are slowly decreasing in the tide of free love.


This is due to the increased opportunities for young people to receive education


Have the opportunity to make choices for your life


(Picture: Figure Worm Creative)▼


But the status quo in India seems to be the other way around. Although the dowry system is still a negative term in the Indian media, the system has spread more and more. Originally, some communities did not have such a custom, but recently it has become more and more intense.


Perhaps it is because in most families, the number of sons and daughters are roughly the same. They all hope that they can get more gifts from their married daughter-in-law to pay their daughters.


Every girl born


You have to work hard to have a son to offset the burden the daughter brings to the family


The combination of sex chromosomes seems to be the original sin


(Picture: https://edition.cnn.com/)▼


The poorer the family, the more money they want for the gift, and the more they don’t want to give it. This is a vicious balance.


The man is totally profitable in the marriage, and he can reap a daughter-in-law once engaged in a marriage, and increase his wealth. Because of this phenomenon, fraudulent marriages have become one of the most profitable businesses in India.


In India's blind date market, men with overseas experience were once regarded as sweet pastries. Until a group of men called "fleeing grooms" appeared.


If the visa is good, these girls can't wait for a lifetime


(Picture: https://www.sikhnet.com/)▼


They all have overseas experience and even foreign nationality. On the surface, they will return to India to participate in a blind date, claiming that they want to find their lifelong lover. After getting engaged, she quickly disappeared after getting the gift money provided by the wife's family and was happy abroad. After spending all the money, I went back to another part of India, forged the previous experience and continued to scam money.


In 2005, the Canadian documentary "Runaway Grooms" revealed that such a group of Indian men with a Canadian international, using their convenience to travel between India and Canada, continue to deceive Indian families who want to fish for golden turtles. The family was broken and the people died.

2005年,加拿大纪录片《失控的新郎》(Runaway Grooms)透​​露,这样一群与加拿大人打交道的印度人,利用他们的便利在印度和加拿大之间旅行,继续欺骗想要捕捞金龟的印度家庭。家庭破裂,人民丧生。

And those poor women who choose to fight against the bad guys to the end


After endless hearings


It’s hard to get a satisfactory result


(Picture: https://www.tribuneindia.com/)▼


The root of the problem lies in this unreasonable dowry system, and the deeper reason is the extreme inequality between men and women in South Asian society.


The dowry system has reached a weird cycle in India, and the marrying daughter-marrying daughter model is being performed in most families. Some of them are also oppressed by high-priced gifts, but few people think about the problems of the system itself, and even fewer are willing to break it.


In this place of India, the risk of opposing vices is too great..


(Image: Tukaram.Karve / Shutterstock) ▼

(图片来源:Tukaram.Karve / Shutterstock)▼

Those families who are impoverished by the bride price will not blame the social atmosphere, but will complain about the gods, why they have given birth to so many girls instead of many boys.


There is no hope of change for this severe social problem. Only when women’s education level has gone up, they have more job opportunities, and show more value outside their own family. Both parties can provide their own in marriage. Resources, marriage oppression against women will be less.


Women can rely on themselves to gain a foothold in this society


Can fight for real rights


(photo: Mohammad shahnawaz / shutterstock)

(摄影:Mohammad shahnawaz/shutterstock)

The most important condition for a marriage between a man and a woman is "fitness."


This is appropriate, not the price.


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